Marian Seldes: Fear Destroys Us
I asked Marian Seldes what she most wanted to teach her students, and she stopped me and said there was something she most wanted to teach everyone. This is what she told me in July of 2008.
Always make sure that fear is fast on its feet around you. That's something Garson [Kanin] told me. You can be afraid, but you can't stay afraid. Deal with the fear, and I always dealt with it by recognizing immediately how I could vanquish it.
Someone somewhere--nearby--is ready to help you with what frightens you, if only because they recognize the fear you currently have. They'll remember feeling it, and they'll remember how they got rid of it. Sometimes the fear disappears simply by reaching out to someone else for relief.
We are not alone. We are all connected.
In an acting situation, I always wanted students--and those with whom I was working as an actress--to firmly believe that I knew they belonged where they were: They had talent and worth and placement. If you make a mistake--even if you fail completely, as we all have--you still have merit and talent and are able to move on. Never be afraid of the work: You can be respectful of the task; you can want very much to live up to the expectations of the writer and the director and your peers, but fear is not a part of this. Fear is poisonous. I can always lose my sense of fear by looking at my partners and remembering that they have talent and resources, and they are my shore, my sturdy foundation on which I can stand. I need them, and they need me. In this sense of trust, great work can be made, and lovely friendships can be built.
I heard someone say the other day that greatness lies beyond your greatest fear, and I think that's true, but that greatness is what you find when you conquer the fear, throw it to the side. Fear tells us to protect a child, ourselves, a neighbor, an idea, but the greatness--or what I call our basic humanity--comes through when we help the child, the neighbor, repeat the idea, get back to work.
Maybe fear is our conscience. Just a tap on the shoulder or a still voice reminding us what we should do, but our job is to still the voice, do the task. If we allow the fear to remain and grow, we become mean and suspicious, and we kill everything. Fear destroys us. Fear destroys everything.
I think we were put here to restore and protect others, so I always remind people how quickly we have to dispatch fear and help each other and get on with the work.
© 2018 James Grissom